Ease the transition away from createOrReplace

[shawkins]

We have two options:

• simply changing the definitions of createOrReplace and replace to be inline with what could be expected - that is change replace to be update and strip the retry and non-locking behavior from createOrReplace. Yes this would be a breaking change and require additional documentation, but it would work most of the time with existing code.
• or introduce a generalized createOr(Function<Resource, T> conflictAction) method - such that you could do createOr(Resource::update), createOr(Resource::patch). This could also be expressed in a more dsl-like way with resource.onConflict(Resource::update).create() or something that would be cross-cutting resource.createIfNotFound().update()

Originally posted by @shawkins in #5337 (comment)

[Bwvolleyball]

The code instructions for the deprecated createOrReplace() are frustratingly obtuse. Does not feel like this project was ready to deprecate that command.

[shawkins]

@Bwvolleyball please see the FAQ link in the Javadocs and the updates from #5367